Gallery of rogues, Continued. . .

Ah, yes. . . Safari Charlie. The ideology of Safari Charlie, or what has become known in some Appalachian Regions as the "Safari Charlie Principle" has enabled me to do whatever I choose. It boils down to a simple phrase: "You put me with any other dumbass who want to do it, and you can consider it done." This is not to be confused with the Big Stash Proposition known as "When you start wondering about where you should and shouldn't be, that's when you've messed up."

The true origin of our friendship can be traced to the Greenbrier River, somewhere just south of Marlinton, WV, although there are precursors that can be found at Mayor's Place in Summersville, WV. How we happened to be on the Greenbrier in April is really of no concern other than the fact that we both saw it as really the only choice one has to fully be enjoying life. Yes, I admit hedonism was a driving factor, a gluttony for the outdoors and the freedoms it provides. Know you, dear reader, that this marks the seven year anniversary of this 4 day event.

Some glimpses into the original (and some will say never to be equaled) trip begins with a 45 minute trip to Marlinton where we will be putting in with a brand new, direct from the manufacturer, canoe and enough equipment to send a bathroom scale from 0 to 200 in a flew seconds flat. The vehicle of conveyance, which would become a major character in the unfolding plot is a Red, 1991 Dodge Ram 150, with a well worn cowboy interior (bench seats, no heat, no wipers, no radio, and none of the other amenities you fancy-pants might prefer). Located inside that vehicle one would find myself riding shot-gun, Safari Charlie as the transmission-wrangler, and Big Stash as Senior-In-Command of the operation. Sunshine is streaming through the evergreens as we wind our way, down the other side of the mountain, past the Monongahela Visitor Center and onward towards Marlinton. Later Big Stash was smiling right at us, our canoe caught on a shoal. As we navigated over this obstacle, he watched, and later commented on how he wish he had accepted our offer to take him along. I wish he had too.

It was an unseasonably warm day that stood in stark contrast to the icy winter runoff that was making the Greenbrier run so well. Neither us us had navigated the Greenbrier before, but we had a plan that was ideal. We had acquired 2 topographic maps of the state of West Virginia; one was in our possession, the other in the inventory of Big Stash. The exit strategy, should we need one would be to contact Big Stash with our page number and coordinates, should we require evacuation. The itinerary was to travel the Greenbrier south, to it's tributary point on the New River, and from there proceed North along the New River, arriving at Fayetteville, WV where we could take out, only 45 minutes from the opposite side of where the trip began. Along this trip Safari Charlie and I picked up certain indelible truths:

polypropylene underwear is king.
Jagermeister chases the scaries away.
Aggressive geese should be confronted at every turn.
Beware rednecks with rocks.
Rennick is the place to restock your larder. There's a gas station just up the hill.
The mayor of Rennick is also the Fire Chief and will let you fill you water jugs.
There is such a thing a SPAM gravy.
Always bring a fishing pole, in the more isolated spots Greenbrier fish are not shy.
In a canoe, it is possible to boil corn in transit.
Dead Man's Falls is nothing to snigger at.
Don't blow your cover: Pose as Canadian Fur Trappers.
There is a section of this river, some times veiled in an early morning fog, we came to call Lost World.
The river's bedrock at points looks like green tiled marble through the deep, clear water.
You can treat hypothermia immediately with a candy bar.
When illuminating your canoe with Tiki Torches ablaze, bats will feast on attracted insects, and you can present quite a diabolic spectacle that Blackbeard himself would be proud of.
When illuminating your canoe with Tiki Torches ablaze in Dead man's Falls, there is a certain fire safety concern.