Ion Farmer VS the wife of the former president of Coted’Ivore
I can't believe how lucky I was to get yet another letter from a completely independent source.
Date: Thu, 29 Sep 2005 01:05:21 +0100 (BST)
From: "nadia guei" (mrsnadiaguei@yahoo.co.uk)
Subject: PLEASE REPLY ME IMMEDIATELY .......
Dear Danito McLachenstein,
I know this message must have come to you as a surprise package.In brief, my name is Mrs .NADIA GUEI the wife of the former president of CotedÂIvore Robert Guei. However,both my husband is dead and my children including I,has been sent to exile by the combined military force team from the West African sub-region (Ecomog) with some ivorean militries right now we are not comfortable Imagine us under going all this stress because of power, Please I call for your immediate assistant I am a widow even (CNN )cover the news about the death of my late husband Late Robert Guei.pls you can view the
website:http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/2269238.stm
Before we left to exile my husband been the bread winner of the family he for seen what will happen withtime, he now used his power while on Government to moved.Some trunk boxes contained ($52,000.000.00 million U.S.D.) cash deposited it with a security company in lome Togo as a famaily valueiable Items for security reason. Now we need your assistance to move this money to any country of your choice abroad. all along we are waiting so that every Issue of my husand must have cool down and forgotten a little before we will proceed on this transaction.When the funds are properly secured,
we will joint invest yielding stock and business on Your advice your compensation for your immediate assistance is 25% of the cash, 5% for expenses, 70% for my family your urgent reply indicating your interest will help me in no small measure to stop further contact, all other details will be made know to you and more importantly you have to treat this transaction as very confidential as the hope of my entire families survivals is placed on this boxesThanks for your good understanding We wait for your immediate correspondence please attach your private Telephone and Fax numbers, This is a risk free transactions.
Best Regards,
Mrs.Nadia Guei
Hoooooo. . .boy. Here we go. . . .
Dear Mrs. Nadia Guei-
You are indeed right when you imply that this message is a "surprise package" (heh, heh, heh), but you can rest soundly, because I know what a "surprise package" can mean to a lonely widow. You are in great luck that you have contacted me of all people, my little Schweinefleischplätzchen!
You stated that you have taken "trunk boxes contained ($52,000.000.00 million U.S.D.) cash deposited it with a security company in lome Togo". I can put you in touch with my man in Lome, Togo. There is a barrister that I know well in Tome, Logo. His name is Ottis Charles, Esquire, and he happens to be one of the best damn lawyers this world has ever produced. I think that he has a contract that requires the Devil to forfeit his sole to Esquire Charles, because a slivetongueded bastard, that's what he is, Ma'am. Remember, he didn't go to 15 years of Esquire school to be called Mister!
I am currently involved in a MAJOR deal with Esquire Charles, (that will make us both fabulously wealthy beyond, well it will be beyond anything that I can think of). Unfortunately, I have not been able to call Esquire Charles. My sister in law has been using my phone and she used up all our minutes this month, so I have to get a new phone and car. I swear, the lady is driving me crazy. I was hoping our mobile phone company, L. Vlassic JunglePhono, would reactivate my account with a new phone number this weekend, but either they are out of the office or something. I apologize, but my sister in law spends all day on the phone and she stole all of my minutes and my eyesight with her crazy shenanigans, so we had to cut off her phone number and put her back into the Basement Rocket, which is what we call the storage closet in the basement that the air vent goes into and makes all these crazy noises nonstop and belches coal dust all over the place.
Regardless, I am very sorry for not contacting him. Once I go to L. Vlassic JunglePhono on Thursday and get my new phone number created, I will call him on it and give him my bank information. There's this guy, William Ralston, and he's on me like a backpack to make a decision about that deal I got going. Like I said, I would've done so earlier, but my stupid sister in law completely demolished my phone with her face and now I just have to wait to get a new number. Sometimes it's really hard living in a house with your wife, nine kids, her parents, her sister, and your brother and his two kids and their grandparents and their grandparents' daughters. It's like a madhouse in here, lots of arguing, fisticuffs, entrenchment in forbidden drama, and all that crazy family stuff. It's enough to make me insane! But I'm not insane and I think all the puppets know this.
I think that you are in an unique position Mrs Guei, as US$52,000,000,000,000.00 is a reasonable downpayment to get in on the ground floor of an arrangement that Esquire Charles and myself have in the works. Have you ever been exposed to the lastest emergency technology that the World Wide Web ("WWW" for short, but dont let my sophisticated jargon distract you)has to offer? I am speaking, of course, of the WTC Memorial Rooftop Parachute Kits. Although, your immediate family has snuffed it in quite a dramatic and eccentric manner, I will assume that you still have loved ones that you care about. The combined military force team from the West African sub-region (Ecomog)is still out there, Mrs. Guei, and they could be beating the bushes right now for you or other members of your family. I can think of no better protection for the ones you love, and it would be monument to your devotion as a former mother and wife. The WTC Memorial Rooftop Parachute Kits can not only save you from terrorists, but was designed specifically for the harried housewife and her busy work-a-day chores, whether it be selecting the proper pate for the next Social Ball (and, hot damn talmale, Ahab, how I long for more Balls!) or fleeing panic-stricken from blood-thirsty guerrillas who are toppling some puppet power structure.
Anyways, here that contact information for that attorney:
Barrister OTTIS CHARLES
Royal House Chambers
Solicitors & Advocates
Block 2, Flat 5, Rue du Boulevard,
PB 491,Lome-Togo,
West-Africa.
Hopefully, I will be hearing from him soon in regards to our transaction, and if you need further assistance I would be glad to offer some. If I don't hear from either of you I will assume that you both have perished in an auto accident and will await further instructions regarding your assets.
-Danito McLachenstein
CEO of Freedom Alley Studios
This stuff is just too good.
Date: Thu, 29 Sep 2005 01:05:21 +0100 (BST)
From: "nadia guei" (mrsnadiaguei@yahoo.co.uk)
Subject: PLEASE REPLY ME IMMEDIATELY .......
Dear Danito McLachenstein,
I know this message must have come to you as a surprise package.In brief, my name is Mrs .NADIA GUEI the wife of the former president of CotedÂIvore Robert Guei. However,both my husband is dead and my children including I,has been sent to exile by the combined military force team from the West African sub-region (Ecomog) with some ivorean militries right now we are not comfortable Imagine us under going all this stress because of power, Please I call for your immediate assistant I am a widow even (CNN )cover the news about the death of my late husband Late Robert Guei.pls you can view the
website:http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/2269238.stm
Before we left to exile my husband been the bread winner of the family he for seen what will happen withtime, he now used his power while on Government to moved.Some trunk boxes contained ($52,000.000.00 million U.S.D.) cash deposited it with a security company in lome Togo as a famaily valueiable Items for security reason. Now we need your assistance to move this money to any country of your choice abroad. all along we are waiting so that every Issue of my husand must have cool down and forgotten a little before we will proceed on this transaction.When the funds are properly secured,
we will joint invest yielding stock and business on Your advice your compensation for your immediate assistance is 25% of the cash, 5% for expenses, 70% for my family your urgent reply indicating your interest will help me in no small measure to stop further contact, all other details will be made know to you and more importantly you have to treat this transaction as very confidential as the hope of my entire families survivals is placed on this boxesThanks for your good understanding We wait for your immediate correspondence please attach your private Telephone and Fax numbers, This is a risk free transactions.
Best Regards,
Mrs.Nadia Guei
Hoooooo. . .boy. Here we go. . . .
Dear Mrs. Nadia Guei-
You are indeed right when you imply that this message is a "surprise package" (heh, heh, heh), but you can rest soundly, because I know what a "surprise package" can mean to a lonely widow. You are in great luck that you have contacted me of all people, my little Schweinefleischplätzchen!
You stated that you have taken "trunk boxes contained ($52,000.000.00 million U.S.D.) cash deposited it with a security company in lome Togo". I can put you in touch with my man in Lome, Togo. There is a barrister that I know well in Tome, Logo. His name is Ottis Charles, Esquire, and he happens to be one of the best damn lawyers this world has ever produced. I think that he has a contract that requires the Devil to forfeit his sole to Esquire Charles, because a slivetongueded bastard, that's what he is, Ma'am. Remember, he didn't go to 15 years of Esquire school to be called Mister!
I am currently involved in a MAJOR deal with Esquire Charles, (that will make us both fabulously wealthy beyond, well it will be beyond anything that I can think of). Unfortunately, I have not been able to call Esquire Charles. My sister in law has been using my phone and she used up all our minutes this month, so I have to get a new phone and car. I swear, the lady is driving me crazy. I was hoping our mobile phone company, L. Vlassic JunglePhono, would reactivate my account with a new phone number this weekend, but either they are out of the office or something. I apologize, but my sister in law spends all day on the phone and she stole all of my minutes and my eyesight with her crazy shenanigans, so we had to cut off her phone number and put her back into the Basement Rocket, which is what we call the storage closet in the basement that the air vent goes into and makes all these crazy noises nonstop and belches coal dust all over the place.
Regardless, I am very sorry for not contacting him. Once I go to L. Vlassic JunglePhono on Thursday and get my new phone number created, I will call him on it and give him my bank information. There's this guy, William Ralston, and he's on me like a backpack to make a decision about that deal I got going. Like I said, I would've done so earlier, but my stupid sister in law completely demolished my phone with her face and now I just have to wait to get a new number. Sometimes it's really hard living in a house with your wife, nine kids, her parents, her sister, and your brother and his two kids and their grandparents and their grandparents' daughters. It's like a madhouse in here, lots of arguing, fisticuffs, entrenchment in forbidden drama, and all that crazy family stuff. It's enough to make me insane! But I'm not insane and I think all the puppets know this.
I think that you are in an unique position Mrs Guei, as US$52,000,000,000,000.00 is a reasonable downpayment to get in on the ground floor of an arrangement that Esquire Charles and myself have in the works. Have you ever been exposed to the lastest emergency technology that the World Wide Web ("WWW" for short, but dont let my sophisticated jargon distract you)has to offer? I am speaking, of course, of the WTC Memorial Rooftop Parachute Kits. Although, your immediate family has snuffed it in quite a dramatic and eccentric manner, I will assume that you still have loved ones that you care about. The combined military force team from the West African sub-region (Ecomog)is still out there, Mrs. Guei, and they could be beating the bushes right now for you or other members of your family. I can think of no better protection for the ones you love, and it would be monument to your devotion as a former mother and wife. The WTC Memorial Rooftop Parachute Kits can not only save you from terrorists, but was designed specifically for the harried housewife and her busy work-a-day chores, whether it be selecting the proper pate for the next Social Ball (and, hot damn talmale, Ahab, how I long for more Balls!) or fleeing panic-stricken from blood-thirsty guerrillas who are toppling some puppet power structure.
Anyways, here that contact information for that attorney:
Barrister OTTIS CHARLES
Royal House Chambers
Solicitors & Advocates
Block 2, Flat 5, Rue du Boulevard,
PB 491,Lome-Togo,
West-Africa.
Hopefully, I will be hearing from him soon in regards to our transaction, and if you need further assistance I would be glad to offer some. If I don't hear from either of you I will assume that you both have perished in an auto accident and will await further instructions regarding your assets.
-Danito McLachenstein
CEO of Freedom Alley Studios
This stuff is just too good.
posted by Ion Farmer at 20:26
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